I figured since Tumblr is a blog site then I should blog at least once haha. But my computer is being super laggy -.-
But anyways I’ve had a lot on my mind and since you people are so lovely and might read this.. Here it goes.
The biggest thing that has happened to me recently is that a good friend of mine (long story short: my childhood best friend and I grew up with her brother and his friends. we are all a huge family still to this day. there’s like 12 of us.) was killed in a motorcycle accident August 9th. It’s really opened my eyes to a lot of things. Like I need to stop taking people for granted and I need to appreciate what I have before it’s gone or I can no longer go back to it, you know? He was the one person who had a good life going, a fiancée, and a house by 21. The very last person you expected to die. As you can imagine, it’s extremely hard for everybody. It came as a complete and utter shock and it took me five days to not cry everyday. So that’s been in the back of my mind a lot and I constantly think about it through out the day. I pray for his family every night because I can only imagine how they feel.
Also, I’m starting college next week! I’m not moving in but I have freshmen orientation tomorrow until Wednesday when I start. I’m buying books and it’s really stressful and I hate it. One book is lost and I still need three more… plus I started a payment plan to finish paying my tuition, which is $264 a month until December.. Yay.
I’ve just had alooooot my mind lately and I don’t know who to talk to. I’ve talked to a lot of different people and they all say the same shit. I don’t know how to take things in life anymore either because of James’ death. We all got thrown a huge curveball and it just made me realize many things I cant even begin to pout into words so I keep it to myself. because i feel no one will understand the weird emotions i’m having that I’ve never experienced. it’s just really weird. so, sorry if you read all of this… I just needed somewhere non-judgemental to post my feelings. and if you read all of this, thank you. honestly. I need to express myself somehow, even if it’s on the internet to a bunch of strangers.
thanks again. -Kelly.